Soccer Rocks, Dude

Just when you thought that life at the Vic couldn't get any better, along pops everyone's favourite Wisconsin-born Watford centre-half with a charity single. Cleverly entitled 'Soccer Rocks', Jay Demerit's 15-minute drum'n'bass epic features guest vocals from none other than Sir Elton. Maybe.

In truth it's probably more of a Springsteen-esque AOR stompathon, and will join the long list of failed 'soccer'-related efforts, such as Diamond Lights. Nowhere near as good as 'The Robins aren't Bobbins' by Frank Sidebottom, Ossie's Dream, or anything by Half Man Half Biscuit.

I Live In The Rookery, and Curve Balls

Well, the announcement for the ground redevelopment arrived this afternoon after what seemed like decades of waiting. And guess what... it's not that exciting.

The main aspects of the plans are: better Rous Stand for the prawn sandwich brigade; redeveloped East Stand for the poor and family-afflicted; and a housing-enhanced Rookery for the oafish and poorly-paid NHS slaves.

So not the Earth-shattering news some had expected. When I went to the website a few hours ago I saw the top story as "King: Let's Make The Vic Fortress", which confused me a little. I thought my earlier prediction of moats, drawbridges and turrets had come true. Alas, no.

A Day in the Life, and Join Us

How to write a Watford-related blog:

08:37 - Wake up. Get bearings. Peel pillow off face. Decide the second bottle of wine wasn't all that necessary.

09:15 - Wake up again. This time to sound of mobile ringing. It's the boss. Make rubbish excuse about traffic.

09:16 - Remember that you walk to work. Resolve to think of a better excuse before you get in.

10.00-11.00 - Arrive at work, check (personal) email. Look at BBC Football page.

11:00 - Get round to things. Realise you've forgotten to write an important document for a 12:00 meeting.

12:00-13:00 - An hour's verbal abuse from senior colleagues for lack of application.

13:00-14:45 - Lunch hour.

14:45 - Decide to post a blog entry.

15:00 - Nothing happening in World of Watford (WoW). Stiffs win, announcement tomorrow, blah blah. Why are Wednesdays always so dull?

15:15 - Decide to use the Fiver's 'How we work' idea as basis for posting. They'll never know.

15:30-17:30 - 'Tidying up desk', 'file management', 'internet-based research', etc.

Finally, Watford are after a media relations assistant. The ability to type and use a spellchecker is optional.

Nothing Doing, Mark's Message, and Ouch

Very little happening at the moment. Stiffs playing Flam tonight. Bouazza pleased with goal. Kids drew with Spurs. Aidy wipes arse. Whatever.

Brilliantly, our benevolent dictator Mark Ashton issed a communique yesterday. As well as advising us of the forthcoming restrictions on smiling, frowning or blowing your nose inside the ground, some more stuff about the ground redevelopment came out. Not a lot though:

I know that many of you will have been wondering why this project has taken so long to announce. On Thursday, I hope it will become clear why we've been unable to talk about it in the public domain and why the project is so important to the future of the football club.

Speculation about the "biggest, most bestest thing ever to happen to Watford" continues. Surely it involves the hospital, or the allotments, or the houses off Occupation Road. Maybe it involves all three, and he's going to build a moat around the ground. Y'know, to keep away those pesky supporters.

It's silly season for injuries. Firstly, Shenyang Ginde's Liu Jianye split his scrotum. Then news broke that former Portsmouth player Dario Silva lost a leg in a car accident, and is in a medically-induced coma. Ouch, indeed. Top marks to Portsmouth, though, who wished him a 'full and speedy recovery'. Full recovery?

Unlucky, and You Can't Say Unlucky In Here

It's not even October, yet we've already been to the North-West three times. Rumour has it that some of the younger and more impressionable players have already started to speak in nasal whines, wear last decade's fashions and crave chips 'n' gravy.

Our third trip oop North brought our first point, Hameur Bouazza cancelling out Camara's offside strike with his first goal in eleven years. A belter as well - a slight twist on the Marlon peel off 'n' strike routine we have used a few times. We were unlucky (careful...) not to win the game - Wigan Rugby Club were booed off the pitch by their own fans after a spirited second half performance from Watford.

Amusingly, Paul Jewell's programme notes welcomed 'Aidy Boothroyd and his Reading team'. This could be a nod at the thoroughness and preparation that this Watford side is noted for, but is more likely the work of an idiot. Perhaps they used the same person that manages the content of the Waftord Oficcial Webiste.

Finally, serial woodwork-hitter Marlon is sick of London's Watford being labeled 'unlucky' by the world's media - as a result he has asked Aidy to add it to the list of banned words. Also on the list are 'weaknesses', 'black shorts' and 'Fitz Hall'. Suggest away any others.

A Victory. Please

Tomorrow it's egg-chasers Wigan at the JJB Enormodome. They're only two points and four places above us - a bit different from last year's ball-breaking start.

Both clubs put out under-strength sides in midweek (us more so than them), so Kirkland, Heskey, Camara et al should all return to their line-up. They haven't had the best of starts, but they've got some half-decent players. The game might be a bit of a Bolton-esque thud-fest, but we love that don't we? Blood, thunder etc. 2-1 to us? A very nice 14-1 from Ladbrokes.

It's raining here, since you asked.

Bye Bye Blackwell, and I Ran For Styles

Lovable rogues Leeds made more friends yesterday by sacking Kevin Blackwell, the manager who stabilised the club through the aftermath of the Risdale/O'Leary era.

Despite the minor losses of Robbie Fowler, Harry Kewell, Jonathan Woodgate, Aaron Lennon, Paul Robinson, Danny Mills and Olivier Dacourt, and the fact they have still been paying Fowler, Mills, Seth "£40k a week? Yes please" Johnson, Paul Okon and Nick Barmby, Blackwell's achievements of stopping the club from complete meltdown and still reaching the play-off final (note to reader: they were beaten by London's Watford) simply must be viewed as total failure. Smell ya later.

Word reaches Yellow Towers (it's actually worse than it sounds) that Rob Styles will officiate the Wigan game at the weekend. Now, I love a bit of referee-bashing as much as the next beered-up ignoramus. But surely let's let bygones be bygones? Surely he's developed better judgement by now? Well... 5 games so far: 24 yellows (how many!?) and 3 reds. Ho hum.

Fever to Tell

It has been brought to my attention that Yellow Fever (the disease) also goes by several other names. Thankfully, each one describes either me or this blog:

• Yellow Jack
• Black Vomit
• Vomito Negro (I'm learning Spanish, so this one is particularly appropriate)
• American Plague
  

Parkes Football?

From this morning's Guardian:

"Aidy Boothroyd's young charges, playing out of their skins for a crack at the Premiership, bossed the game throughout: Mariappa dominated the back line; the promising Diagouraga practically ran the game; and the lively Tamas Priskin capped his full debut with a superb hat-trick. The margin of the victory surely puts pressure on Watford's first-teamers to get that first victory."

Or maybe not. A poor display from all concerned, the only (slight) consolation being that we've learned how to take penalties. Well, this lot have.

Can't quite believe how much stick young Jordan Parkes has come in for though. He's 17, fer chrissakes.

Awaydays, Home games and Plucky but Hopeless

There's nothing like getting away to recharge your batteries. I say recharge, I now feel like someone's stuffed socks in my mouth and beat me round the head with a crowbar. Never mind.

The downside of going on last-minute holidays is that you miss Watford games. I managed to catch the Villa game on TV and by god, it was an awful game. Some reasonable individual performances but we never really looked like scoring, Marlon's spectacular drive aside. It says much that Sorensen was SKy's MotM without really doing all that much.

I know nothing about about Accrington Stanley except the following:

• Scouse kids who drink milk don't know who they are
• They were rubbish, and went out of business (or something)
• They're now good(-ish) again, and beat Wrexham 5-0 the other day
• We're playing them tonight in the cup.

Expect run outs for Macca, Springy, JD et al. Wouldn't be surprised if Priskin played 90 mins either.

Getting Barred, Hot or Not, and Be Happy!

Ground developments (see the archives from 1920s for more information) are gathering pace with the purchase of the freehold of the Red Lion pub on Vicarage Road. An interesting method of generating the non-matchday dollar. Expect similar announcements concerning the purchase of the chippy down the road, the hairdressers (get 'WFC' shaved in the back of your head) and the furniture shop (get your own stadium seat, complete with restricted leg-room).

Aidy Boothroyd reckons he's had enough of seeing his spherical head on telly, report today's papers. Mrs Aidy's suggestion: a makeover.

Huzzah! BHaPPY has launched. Go there now and read it. Makes this blog look like a pile of shit. Well, more so.

International Round-up, and The Rocksteady Crew

As revealed unexclusively on these pages yesterday, Ben Foster was on the bench last night for England's 1-0 victory over Macedonia. England flattered to deceive and were lucky that Ashley Cole managed to clear off the line (at the second time of asking) late on. Lampard was poor for the majority of the game, and while Downing put a few crosses into the box, he did little else of note.

Peter Crouch got the goal, his 21st in 6 games, or something. The way the fans and press have taken to him, you nearly forget the ridiculous booing he got on his debut. Still, if that's what a robot dance does for your reputation, I'm off to join the Rocksteady Crew. Owen Hargreaves, the German Canadian, has also managed to win over the boo-boys - apparently without resorting to bodypopping.

"We've got" Ashley Young came on and played on the right wing for the last 10 minutes or so in England U21's 3-2 victory over the Swiss, and Tamas Priskin lasted 62 minutes of Hungary U21's 3-1 defeat at the hands of Russia.

Doyley Speaks, and Player Power

The list of Watford players past and present with unusual or odd names is as long as Peter Crouch's arm. Clint Easton, Gabriel Agbonlahor, David Perpetuini, Lloyd Doyley...

Lloyd has spoken to the Official Site about the upcoming game against Bolton. I happen to think that we'll do alright against them - it should be a fairly physical game, with both sides eager to get the ball into wide attacking positions as quickly as possible. They turned us over in the cup last year of course, but that was a weakened Watford side and we have made some good additions since then.

The clinically miserable Nicolas Anelka will probably make his debut. It will be absolutely great to see Jay DeMerit deal with such a 'world-class striker' with ease. Forget your Marlon Kings and your Ashley Youngs - JdM is the star of this Watford side for me.

Speaking of miserable footballers, interesting to read this week about William Gallas alleged threat to play badly or score an own goal if Chelsea didn't let him go. This has been followed today with Stuart Pearce suggesting that Andy Cole said he would retire if he didn't get his lucrative move to Portsmouth (not a phrase I ever thought I'd write). Shoot the agents, I say.

Flying the nest, and other Hornet-related puns

Three Hornets on international duty this week – Ben Foster (England), Ashley Young (England U21) and Tamas Priskin (Hungary U21).

Barring an injury to Paul Robinson or Chris Kirkland, Ben Foster shouldn’t feature – but it’s all great experience for him. Lots of people expect a lot from Ben, and some see him as a future England keeper, so just being with the squad for now will put him in good stead.

EDIT: Treatment table favourite Chris 'Anderton' Kirkland is out after suffering a back spasm, so Foster will be on the bench.

Interesting to see Ashley Young get called up by the U21s. He hasn’t started the season in great form, although he’s had a few moments, such as beating Silvestre and supplying the cross for Francis’s goal against Man United. But, having played so well last year, you have to wonder if it’s the mere fact that he’s playing in the Premiership that he was selected.

Tamas Priskin should start for Hungary U21s, and it will be good match practice for him having not featured against Man Utd. In order for him to settle as quickly as possible he needs to be fit and firing on all cylinders.

Things you might not know about Dick Bate

1. Dick Bate joined Watford as Technical Director earlier this summer from the Canadian FA.
2. He will take charge of the reserve team, replacing Gary Smith. All WFC staff have been told to "never speak of Smith again". It is unclear what effect Tommy Smith's arrival will have on this ruling .
   
3. Dick Bate takes his name from an unusual fishing practice popular in Canada.
4. He will also look after all Watford players under the age of 23.
5. Dick Bate admits to never having heard of Watford, and originally assumed he was joining Walford. It was only when he enquired what position Well 'Ard played that all became clear.
6. He previously worked at Sheffield Wednesday, Lincoln and Notts County, developing a reputation as a forward-thinking coach and tactician.
   
7. Dick Bate's favourite McFly song is 'All About You'.
8. Together with Aidy, he intends to establish Watford's Academy as the best in the world. He will soon realise the extent of this task.
9. Dick Bate's favourite meal is 'buffet'. "I like the choice", he once commented.
10. He is 61 years old, but has the body of an 18-year-old.

Carlton Cole, Five-Nil, and Icemen

The People reports that Watford failed in a £2m bid for West Ham's Carlton Cole, but that we will bid again in January. I like Cole, and I think if he was given a run of games in the Premiership he could score goals. It's unfortunate that he left Chelsea in search of regular first-team action, only to end up at a club whose strike-force now comprises Teves, Ashton, Harewood, Zamora and Sheringham. He'll struggle to make any kind of impact in such company.

Steve McClaren got England off to a flying start in the Euro 2008 qualifiers yesterday evening with a comfortable 5-0 victory over Andorra. Two apiece for Crouch and Defoe, with one for Gerrard in what was an excellent team display - the highlights being Owen Hargreaves' superbly controlled holding-role performance and Gerrard's all-action display on the right. Macedonia will be a slightly stronger challenge but it's hard to see beyond three more points and another few goals; Crouch will be looking to add to his already impressive scoring record.

Iceland beat Northern Ireland 3-0 last night at Windsor Park. Ex-Hornet Bryn Gunnarsson played 75 mins, but our favourite Icelandic nutter Heidar didn't get off the subs bench.

Ex-Player News, Missed Signings, and En-ger-land

A-hoy hoy. A very good morning to you.

Chris Eagles has joined Dutch Eredivisie side NEC on loan, initially until January. I don't think we saw the best of Chris - whilst obviously talented, he never seemed that keen on helping out his full-back and he lacked that never-say-die attitude that would've made him the most complete winger in the division. I remember seeing his second debut against Bolton in the FA Cup and he looked immense, full of tricks and flicks - it's a shame he couldn't keep that up for the duration of his loan.

The Watford Observer reports that Aidy made moves for Collins John and Nathan Ellington in the run-up to deadline day. Don't know about John, he seems a bit of a miserable bastard and would have cost well in excess of the £1.5m we reportedly offered. Ellington would have been an excellent acquision, I'm sure he would have linked up with Marlon King in a similar manner to how he linked with Jason Roberts at Wigan, but it seems WBA didn't want to play ball - especially after our last-minute 'swoop' for Danny Shittu from under their noses earlier in the summer.

Tonight England play Andorra in a Euro 2008 Group E qualifier. Steve McClaren's start as England coach has been as surprising as it has been impressive, proving himself to be the Aidy Boothroyd to Sven's Ray Lewington. Fast, direct attacking football should bring about a goal-fest tonight. I can see a hat-trick for Peter Crouch tonight if he puts himself about a bit.

Enjoy the game.

It Begins, Deadline Day, and Dragons

So, BSaD is no more. That's a real shame, as it was by far the best place to go for Watford-related comment. Top marks to Messrs Rowson and Grant for many years of brilliant previews, reports and features. Of course, this leaves a Hornet-shaped hole in the interweb - until something better than this shows up (that won't be very hard) I'll blog away on WFC and football stuff. Bear with me while I change the wallpaper and so on around here.

Deadline day came and went without any new signings. Tommy Smith dotted the i's and crossed the t's for his return to the Vic from Derby, but we knew that on Wednesday. Personally I'm more than happy with Tommy's return - he's a versatile player, and it gives us cover for both wings and through the middle. I only hope that he's learned to shoot whilst living in the North East and the Midlands.

It would have been nice to get another face or two in. A striker would have been nice, but you could argue that with King, Henderson, Priskin, Young, Bouazza and Smith we have adequate cover. However, I expect Young, Bouazza and Smith to mainly occupy the wide positions, and with Priskin looking like he needs a little time to settle and adjust, perhaps a loan striker might have been a good idea. I'm sure Aidy has it under control...

One option now is to play the 4-5-1/4-3-3 variant that is so popular these days. With Mahon anchoring the midfield and Francis & Spring breaking forward; Young on the left, Smith on the right and King or Henderson up top, we look (on paper) like a quick, fluid attacking unit. Will be interesting to see what Mr Manager does.

Two loan exits to report. The much-maligned Dominic Blizzard has apparently gone to Hereford, although concrete evidence for this is hard to find. I'm a big fan of Dom's, and he can anchor the midfield as well as anyone we have. Physically he reminds me of a young Steve Gerrard, still growing into his frame. Hopefully he can get a few games and get back to match fitness after his illness - although I'm sure he could've gone to a Championship or League One side.

Joel Grant has gone to Aldershot. Probably 7th in the pecking order for a striking place, I doubt he would get an opportunity this year at the Vic. Again, having played a few games for us last year I thought he could hack it at a level higher than the Conference. A few games and goals will do him the world of good though.

Interesting to see Richard Lee on Dragon's Den last night. He and his business partner sold half of their baseball cap business to one of the 'Dragons' (yeah, right) for £150k. He's a good bloke, is our Rich.

More tomorrow.