Your Arsenal

Way back when, a young Yellow Fever was playing with He Man, Transformer, and Thundercats toys. At the same time, Steven Patrick 'Morrissey' Morrissey was putting the finishing touches to his album Your Arsenal, the first track of which contained the following lyrics:

With the world's fate resting on your shoulders
You're gonna need someone on your side
You can't do it by yourself any longer
You're gonna need someone on your side

All of which strike as being rather apt. We need a fucking striker. Yesterday's performance against Arsenal was nothing short of immense (Yellow Fever doesn't give out praise lightly, least of all to the likes of you) yet we came away with nothing. Bouazza Babe was amazing, Ashley never gave up (despite some spectacularly stupid comments on WML), and the defence was able against undoubted class. The decision to leave out Darius Henderson and push Hameur upfront was fantastic. Yet, like a ordinary drunk against a canny mugger, we got hit by a sucker punch. Bastards. At least we kept our phone and credit cards (this time).

Fortunately, we can open our presents from Aidy on 1 Jan. Or shortly after. What will be under the tree (Watford Observer clock)? Today's rags suggest Will Hoskins or Billy Sharp. Mil and mil-fifty respectively. Let's get both, Daddy Aidy!

Talk of the Toon

Deja vu? Yes, yet another 'spirited display' from 'hard to beat' Watford. The sycophantic platitudes keep rolling in as quickly as the inevitable defeats. This time its the turn of Newcastle boss and pigeon-a-like Glenn "You want a tall striker? Here's Devon White" Roeder.

Watford are linked today with West Brom's forgotten man Chris Perry and, more interestingly, Everton's forgotten man James Beattie. Quite how Beattie has gone from playing four times for England to being linked with a team struggling at the arse-end of the Premiership is anyone's guess, but I'm happy to go along with it for the time being.

Away at Liverpool on Saturday. Let's see if we can keep that 100% Premiership record intact. Stop laughing at the back.

Team Talks, and Cake Walks?

Flying Frenchman and Yellow Fever dreamboat Hameur Bouazza has been talking up Watford's survival chances:

"We are not playing badly, but the results don't show our progression. I have to score more goals and find offensive solutions in order to be more efficient on the pitch. I am sure we can do better and we will show people we can improve."

"The coach wants everybody to be focused, to work hard," he said. "He is a demanding man and he knows what he wants. I love his speeches. Every time we enter the pitch, we know that he is looking for three points.

"I think that Watford are going to buy a couple of players during the January transfer window in order to strengthen our young squad. I think our situation is going to be better in a couple of weeks. Personally, I am very happy. I start all the matches and am beginning to feel more comfortable. There is a reciprocal confidence between the coach and me."

"I'm delighted at the support, advice and curious erotic pictures that popular Watford blog Yellow Fever has given me," he didn't go on to say.

Last night the little 'uns lost on penalties against Sheffield United in the FA Youth Cup, and Saturday's opponents Newcastle ran their injury-ravaged side into the ground before losing to Chelsea. Mwah ha ha.

Deep Prem Diving

Despite Charlton's best efforts, the weekend's results leave us adrift at the foot of the ocean (table) like a polychaete worm (rubbish football team) desperate for falling plankton (points).*

Crunch time at St James's at the weekend as Watford face Newcastle. This is a good time to be playing the barcodes, for two reasons:

1. They're utterly rubbish
2. They're playing Chelsea away tomorrow night

* too much Planet Earth recently

The Reading Group

Reading tomorrow at the Vic. A must-win game if ever we heard of one.

Not many updates here lately but expect a thorough match report* tomorrow.

* Not likely... see BHaPPY.

Playing Catch-up

Lots to catch up on over the last few days.

Most recently a hard-earned goalless draw against Manchester City last night at Eastlands. The welcome return of Wee Ashley Young and Oui Hameur Bouazza, coupled with what can best be described as 'stoic' defending, moved our points total into double figures. However, we're still three points behind Newcastle, who have played a game less than us. But who are still playing like 11 tramps after a pint of meths apiece.

Elsewhere, the FA Cup third round draw sees a youthful Watford team win at home against Division 4 middleweights Stockport, who knocked out Wycombe in round two.

Aidy and the club won gongs at the recent BBC London (sic) football awards. In more geographically accurate news, the stiffs play Stevenage tonight in the Herts Senior Cup.

Finally, tonight in Division 1 sees Tottenham home to Gareth "where's my qualifications?" Southgate's Middlesborough and, more significantly, Charlton entertaining Blackburn. A Charlton win would put us bottom. But we tend to say that most weeks, no? I'll believe it when I see it.*

* Kiss of death