EXCLUSIVE: Bears DO deficate in woods

In other less-than-shocking revelations Lord Stevens has announced that the 17 dodgy transfers, over the two-and-a-bit years from Jan '04 to Jan '06, involved just five clubs, Chelsea, Middlesbrough, Bolton, Portsmouth and Newcastle.

Is anyone really shocked that the used-car-salesmen of Football Sam Allardyce and Harry Redknapp are involved?

But involved in what? The report finds no evidence of irregular payments to club officials or players. So just what does make these transfers suspect?

Conflict of interest in deals involving Allardyce and his son, inconsistent evidence provided by Graeme Souness and Freddy Sheppard's son Kenneth, agent Pini Zahavi wouldn't let Lord Stevens look at his bank accounts. Oh, and football agent Willy McKay registered a race horse in the name of Harry Redknapp.

So 17 dodgy deals, and yet no evidence of any wrong-doing. So just how are they dodgy?

The report is being passed on to the FA and FIFA. Who have been looking for something to prop the office door open with.