Jobs For All

There has been a lot of goings-on at our club over the last few years which some supporters might describe as cloak-and-dagger type operations. Here at Yellow Fever we generally stay clear of dissecting such matters and leave that to the experts elsewhere. We like to take a more light-hearted view of matters.

With this in mind, having read the news that Dave “Harry” Bassett was paid a reported £1500 a week for 90 minutes work as a “consultant” to Aidy on footballing matters last season, we’d like to suggest the club make the following inappropriate appointments for next season:

Jamie Moralee – Shooting Coach

David Connolly – Teamwork Builder

Gary Plumley – Goalkeeping Coach

Ray Wilkins – Attacking Football Consultant

Mick Quinn – Fitness Coach

Dai Thomas – International Relations

Paul Robinson – Anger Management Therapist

Hanibal Lecter – Catering Manager

Paul Furlong – Car park Attendant (we're serious about this one, anything to stop him having to play for them)

Richard Johnson – Driving Instructor

Gifton Noel-Williams – Family Planning Advisor